……is what I want,
Sharper, more piercing,
A better struggle,
The beautiful throb of a heart resonating
With the eternal energy of the universe.
To dream when I’m asleep,
For not want of rest,
To eat when hunger strikes,
For not want of anything,
To not want.
Why want when dreams are no longer dreams?
Not the agony of your silence,
But your bite on my neck,
Your finger nails clawing my bare back,
The darkness of your ecstasy.
Your anger ringing in my ear,
The shrillness of your irritation,
That I do not love you like you love me:
Your sweet nothings are nothing.
I want your sweet everything,
I struggle to stay awake as the world drones on,
Why can’t I struggle to sleep,
Abuzz, live wired,
Pseudo-coked up and keyed,