Bad Manners

My demons would like to know if your demons can come out and play.

Sometimes we are attracted to people for their bad manners, rather, what are politely referred to as idiosyncrasies: that girl who talks with food in her mouth, that other girl who is always correcting you and proving you wrong (not too much, though. That is plain arrogant and irritating), that pedant, who feels the need to explain everything, that guy who puts his hand in his boxers when he is well fed. It is inexplicable, how often behaviour that is repulsive in others becomes endearing in our romantic interests. Up to a point of course and the memories of these interesting ‘asides’ remain with us, even after we part ways, and are often fondly recalled. But, why, pray tell?

The bigger question is why do we tolerate behaviour in our cherished ones that we would reprimand or altogether avoid other people for having? You would not let your best friend get away with not replying to your messages or not returning your calls or lashing out at you verbally in a fit of anger, and so on. But, your girlfriend/ boyfriend? They get a pass. We make excuses for them. We are willing to compromise on the wrong things in relationships, like basic courtesy and decorum. Why do we often throw our self-respect and dignity out when we are dating? Maybe, that we are attracted partly to their bad manners is a reflection that we are attracted to the wrong things and for the wrong reasons. Whatever idiosyncrasies one may be drawn to should not be the only determinant for a choice of a partner. So, yeah, I found it cute at first that you could not express yourself completely and got tongue-tied when we talked and you hemmed and hawed and uhmed and errrmed, but that will only get you so far. Your bad manners just ain’t gonna cut it.


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