Not Tonight

I am not feeling her. I want to hang up so that I can go back to The Wire, so that I can go back to sleep, so that I can go back to daydreaming. I want to get up and walk away from this restaurant, walk away from the cloying fried-foods’ smells and the dizzying EDM, and not look back. I want to be my isolated self tonight and to forget these obligations that come with all relationships, romantic or otherwise, the mundane arguments, who is right and who is not, the small talk, the “Tell me something I don’t know about you”, the “You seem reserved. Talk to me. I’m here for you”. I do not know what you know and what you do not know about me. How do you expect me to answer that? There is nothing to talk about. I am fine. Really. It is late, and it will not matter over the course of our lives anyway. I am not feeling any of it tonight. Not tonight. I have a headache and a long day ahead tomorrow. Really.

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