“What fruit would you be?”


“If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?”

My youngest sister asked us last night. I said I think I would be a coconut: hard and rough on the outside and soft on the inside. Or a macadamia. My other sister declined to answer.

“Wewe unashindanga ukiniuliza maswali funny.”

My father, as he got up and prepared to walk to his bedroom to call it a day said, after some thought, that he would probably be “that big green fruit that is very sweet and smells like poopoo.” A durian. Bizarrely apt. Hee hee hee! Mum was, as is typical of her at around nine o’clock in the evening, pretending to watch the news while “just resting”. She has a talent for nodding off pap because she was wide awake a moment ago. Lil Siz said she would be a blueberry. This comes from a line one of the characters in one of our favourite cartoons, Sanjay and Craig, says often. Sometimes she is so cute she makes my teeth ache.

It was a seemingly childish question, but it was poignant. After about ten minutes, as I was rinsing my water bottle in the kitchen and Lil Siz was filling her juice bottle in preparation for school, I asked her,

“Alisema yeye ni fruit gani?”

“Hakusema. Alisema niache kumuuliza maswali kama hizi.”

I gave it a go with Siz, as she was playing the devil’s game Candy Crush on the family tablet. My father bought it so that he could organize and deliver his lecture notes more easily and Mum and my sisters somehow appropriated it for themselves. The wiles of women.

“Umesema wewe ni fruit gani?”

“Aaaaargh, wewe na sister yako mtaachana na mimi na kuniuliza maswali za ovyo!”

Siz is fun to poke. We can barely help ourselves. Grinning, I let it go. And you, dear constant reader, what fruit would you be and why?


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2 thoughts on ““What fruit would you be?”

    1. Well….I have never thought about it but now that you asked I think I would be a raspberry, or grape or apple. Wooi I don’t know why exactly I think I thrive under adverse conditions, I blend well with people and I am flexible

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