Maybe if I let you see me, I will become what I need to be. If I step out of the shadows and show you my colours, you will urge me further out into the crystal light. My actions will be more meaningful now that you know what they are for. I can no longer claim that I am “trying my best” and “doing everything I can” or “working hard”. I am actually doing those things, and if nothing will come of it all, then at least I will have lied in the open, to your face, and you can call me a hypocrite if you see fit.
And this is why I leave my notes and my books about, that you will see that I am reading and whatever may happen afterwards I will be absolved of. Welcome to my righteousness.