“You are not your usual self.”

What is a “usual self”? I was talking with a friend about this last week and she better articulated what I have been thinking about as far as this goes. People have a need to place things, ideas, and other people into neat boxes and simple definitions, viewing them from a single angle, a uni-dimension. It is easier than having to acknowledge the complexity that is everything and everyone in our world. The grey areas are eerie. When someone says this what they really mean is “Why aren’t you conforming to my idea of you/ Why are you challenging my conception of you?”

Nothing is ever cut and dried and there are very few things are that simple. I think we recognize this intuitively but we have a way of becoming deaf to the complicated aspects of ourselves and what surrounds us. We somehow become blind to the mosaics of our various dispositions and the conditions within which we find ourselves. He is smiling and chatty today, and she seems pensive and introspective lately. None of us is just one or two or three inclinations. There are a multitude of ways of being. Nature is more colourful than we give it credit for.

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