There is nothing inherently wrong with him yet he gets on my nerves. I find myself being irritated in his presence and when he talks. I know why: I feel jealousy at his ability to be himself, to not care what people think of him, his unabashed sense of himself, how he talks, walks and acts confidently, oblivious to every one around him. He is energetic and he smiles and laughs easily, on a permanent high, and this freedom and his expression of it chokes me.

It is petty of me to feel this way. My thoughts are inadvertently validated when I hear one or two other people comment about him. I have not stopped myself from gleefully joining in the merciless lampooning gossip and I hate myself a little bit for how much joy I have gotten in making him the object of our derision.

We laugh, and however true what we say about him might be, it is not right to talk behind his back like that. He is a good guy, honest, caring and hard-working, things that shine through the boisterousness and the annoying hellos. And, despite his dazzlingly sunny disposition, humble. It is not his fault that we are too cowardly to always be ourselves.


 

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