There were flashes of yesterday in your shared laughter and mutual inanities. But the spectre and promises of yesterday still hang over you. For a long moment they were forgotten, blanketed by the light of today. You can delude yourself and say this is how it will always be, a permanent hearken to the past, …

Have you ever had a need as urgent? A need to explode into smoke in the wild winds, to run away from what you think you know, what you cherish and distaste, and go somewhere no one knows you, somewhere you can recreate yourself again, forge your life anew, or eliminate whatever passes for life, …

Hiatus Kaiyote and Little Sleep

Grieving for the undead, what was newness hardens into relics beaten by time’s winds until renewed. Broken man shiny reborn healed slowly. Moths dance around a dust-covered soul, flitting in and out alive of dead embers. Fumes of roses withered sting eyes that no longer see blue rainbow sky. A bookmark in a red heart …

And sometimes

she hopes that he will say no, so that she can revel in the warm muck of self-pity a little longer, blameless that it is not her fault after all, and delight in her lazy delusions of inadequacy. And sometimes, I want her to say yes, and she does, and I feel satisfied with myself, …

Alafu Sasa?

You told me how handsome you think I am, how you like the way my fingers curl around the glass, how my lips curl lightly around the straw. Ulisema vile macho yangu ni sexy and the way I smelled so good. I had to smell myself when I went to the gents’ to….. relieve myself, …

Monochrome

Kwani ni mimi pekee hupenda? Kwani ni mimi pekee napendana hapa? Am I the only one who loves? Am I the only one loving here?  

Kaleidoscope

I looked into you and I saw myself, and in my ego, I loved you, because only through you could I love myself. Now, you are gone and I no longer love myself as I did, because this glass heart shattered in the knowing that I could never be complete through you, in the enlightenment …

Back to sleep

You were here, now you are gone. This wasn’t a dream, but a reality covered in shadows of dreams to come and dreams deferred to near-death. Looking through the fog and seeing what I wanted to see. You have shown me how wrong I was; what sweet sorrow. I won’t dream again. I’m going back …

There is nothing. Everything is there. Time is eternal and unending. We are finite. There is no time. We are and lost in the darkness. We exist, from nothing and back to nothing. Cosmic grains of a universal rock, blown by infinite winds every when, everywhere.

Blood Under Fingernails

He scratches himself while seeking himself out, and stitches himself up where he and the world have somehow conspired to tear him up. I admire his strength, as he holds the falling pieces of himself together. He is beautiful. I wish he could see that, and see himself the way I see him. I wish …